Travelling as a lone woman 101

Well hello there lady

You want to travel india I hear? Yes bitch, I love that for you, fucking do it. But before you do, hear some stories and learn some tips before you go, just so you are as appropriately armored as you can be so you don’t run into noooo trouble!

I like to call this one ‘creepy Jaipur tuktuk man who won’t leave me alone’

Right so I’m off to go to the pink city, Jaipur, I need to find a new suitcase (my backpack must have shrunk from the heat or something). Ive decided to walk from the guesthouse into the city as, one, im on my last pennies, and two I do like the thrill, to an extent. I go past my favorite coffee shop ‘Indian Coffee House’ where they dress in these amazing outfits and treat you like a goddess. Quickly devour a masala dosa and set off again, the moment I step out of this coffee shop. ATTACK, well not actually, but it feels like it. A man approaches me, ‘you want a tuktuk?’ I say ‘no thanks’, he continues this and proceeds to follow and harass me, nothing unusual. Now this is where I bring out the ceremonial tactics, the wizardry steps to keep you safe from all of the creeps. ‘WOOF WOOF, ARGHHGHHH, NEENAWNEENAW’, I scream these magic words whilst I put on a really, really horrendously ugly face and maybe make a few strange movements if im feeling extra crazy today and poof, just like that, he’s the one running from me! See here, the tip is to act really nuts, because they assume you’re a frail, clueless tourist. But no, you’re not! You’re a crazy person, and its too much hassle for them to have to deal with a crazy person, its not worth whatever they’re trying to get out of you.

After this, I carry on my walk feeling powerful, I have to admit I do get a kick out of it. Ive found myself having a smooth mooch at some overpriced suitcases, spending some time at each shop. This means I can make friends with some of the shop people, doing this is imperative because if something happens in the next portion of my walk, at least ill kind of know someone to run too or somewhere to go. Funnily enough, my skills worked in my favor, because guess who I see walking strangely close just behind me, Mr Tuktuk man! I turn around at an instant and I say ‘are you still following me’, ‘no no no no’ he says, I say ‘I think you areee!’. Another good way to go about these interactions is to actually try and make friends with them in a way that still sets the tone of, we aren’t friends, in a friendly way. You don’t want to be pissing

anyone off. Smile, and tell them to fuck off, with a shooing hand movement. I step away, into the (new friends I made) shop, instantly feeling safer. I think tuktuk man has given up by now, he has.

After about an hour or two of constant annoying interactions with random men – I call it a day and go back to my guesthouse to go and get harassed again, hehe. Joking, kind of. I don’t want to scare you, and india is not always like this at all, if anything it’s usually fine, if you’re not stupid. Unfortunately its just how it is and to travel there you must be vigilant and aware the whole time. But india is more amazing, colourful, rich in culture and kind peopled than not. This is why I love it.

TOP 9 TIPS OFF THE BAT

• Always bring/wear a shaul to wear over your shoulders, it shows respect to the country, and is just safer for a woman to be more covered up than not.

• Learn some simple Hindi phrases, ill create a separate blog on this.

• Don’t smoke ciggies in places where you’re the only tourist, especially random alleyways in Old Delhi, lol.

• Don’t be afraid to make noise! Ever.

• Long skirts are your bestie. Don’t question it just wear them.

• Minamalise your jewellery, jewellery is a massive part of Indian culture so its actually not a massive thing to remove it, but just don’t be wearing your dead nans rings.

• Make sure you eat well, if you’ve not eaten and you go out into a busy town/city, everything will be 200x more intense and overwhelming. Food is fuel and power!

• Don’t moan about the dirt or toilets etc, you’re visiting their country shut up or leave, if you need, just bring tissues with you and always put them in a bin after.

• Get a local sim card! Good wifi is difficult to get in india anyway so just get a sim. Its really cheap and saves your bum from possible dangerous situations.

These are just a few tips specific to ladies! More tips for everyone to come